it’s home my friend. It’s home.

A single word can fill you

With a thousand feelings
And memories.
Some are warm, happy,
Fuzzy feelings that you enjoy;
Others… not so much.
Yelling, pain, insults;
Dysfunction, blame, guilt.
But “family” is not always
The same thing as home.
Sometimes home is a person,
Who makes you feel loved.
They make you feel wanted
And secure in their embrace.
They give you those happy, fuzzy
Feelings and light thoughts
On your dark days.
And you, my friend…
You are home to me.

it’s home my friend. It’s home.

Regrets? Too bitter?


​Regrets, bitter

and too sharp to swallow,
so instead I just
stay here and wallow.
a spectator 
to my own despair
I think I need you but
I think you don’t care.

Memories
that tell me who you were
and only make
the present hurt

I can’t stop
loving who you used to be
even thoughI try to get closebut time spans too far
and I don’t even know
who we are.


#imissyou



Regrets? Too bitter?

What drugs are you on?

Craziness, blood vomits, restlessness, severe anxiety, insomnia, depression & panic attacks.
Anyother thing left? Asked the doctor…

Adding,

What drugs do you use? Leave them.
Drugs? It might be a mere thing.

“Her memories”, he replied and walked in the deep darkness.

What drugs are you on?

Maturity or kid?

Maturity said to let her go

Kid inside said let her stay or i will burst out and cry.

Actions words hating me? Getting me wrong all the time….
Being sensible being mature

Leaving them was the only cure

When the blood from the hand spilled

Kid inside was already killed

It was just an infant

Who always said when you ripped the feelings of him that you can’t.

Mature enough to let it all go

Kid enough to hug cry say i love you.

Maturity said to let her go

Kid inside said let her stay or i will burst out and cry.

Maturity or kid?

In a year or so

​it’s been a year


in other words,
i’m cold

in other words,
it’s really quiet in this room

in other words,
nobody smiles at me anymore

in other words,
i’ve forgotten how sweet life can taste

in other words, 
i’m lonely

in other words,
i’m scared of commitment and of communication but i haven’t tried in such a long time that it might be worth it to try again

in other words,
i’ve reached out

in other words,
nobody has reached back

in other words,
all i see are
empty smiles,
polite gestures,
and shattered souls

i can see everyone else.
i can tell you which ones
are terrified,
which ones are broken,
and which ones are lost.

there are so few of them
that i can see it.

how are they genuinely okay
as their average sense of being?

am i the only one
that puts up this facade?

am i invisible?

can you see me?

it’s been a year
since i’ve been kissed
or looked at 
like i matter.

all i see is the emptiness,
but that may be my cloud diluting 
the innocence of the many
and soaking up
the blood of the slaughtered-

can you see me?

i feel like i’m invisible.

i have to butt into conversations
because nobody would include me anyway,

i am a lost cause.

don’t make me save you,
i ripped apart the last one.

don’t make me feel you,
because i will just be torn away.

don’t make me breathe you,
i will suffocate against your weight.

i’m an ice cube up against 
a blowtorch,
but i’m not quite sure if 
the blowtorch means it.

i’m wet sand
in a mold.
shape me however you like,
smooth me down to fit your ideals
but i will crumble,
and when that wave comes to find me
i will melt in its palms
and get sprinkled back onto
the bottom of the ocean
waiting to be found again.

call me a name
and i will become that name,
the letters will flow out of your lips,
falling like a river, 
cool and untouched.

i will let myself drown.

it’s been a year.
don’t touch me
unless you mean it.


~that random guy @soundhumor

In a year or so

Let me live again


​Am I to wait then , my liege 

for the light of death to reveal

your shining face ,

when I can see , my wants and needs 

turn to ashes like the salt in the sea.

Have I the strength to follow thee ?

dive into the wells of despair ,

slip through the fangs of ecstasy …
I can see , I can see !

a lick of fire I may be 

but magnificent is your world with its poorest riches.
rare is its lowest of seats

rare is its cruelest of thieves

rare is the silence that I am yet to hear

rare are the tears,the pain and the fears
let me live again 

only those moments that was spent with you…

Memories remember?
~That Random Guy

Let me live again

Dear YouIDesigner

I close my eyes

I see a street 

Where I walked with you

Under the moon

Streets now

Have changed

People have changed

but saw someone standing there

in the dark.

‘my days were dark before as the nights’

And I can not even see you

Somebody has stolen the moon

Some one stole the sun

Clouds they gather

And cry for some one

it was raining

raining heavily

Some one fired a gun

I fell on my knees

I wanted to scream your name

In a screaming silence 

I’m yelling please

but i was quite

SO WERE YOU

YOU NEEDED ME

YOU HAD ME

BUT I LEFT

SAYING SOME ROUGH WORDS

WHICH WERE NOT MEANT TO BE

Streets have changed 

People have changed

I can see you

Am i missing you or an illusion

You it was you

yes you are YOU

who is special

for me

EVER EVER NEED ME NOW

REGRETTING MY PAST

I WILL BE WITH YOU

FOREVER

YES NO MATTER WHAT ♥

I LOVE YOU
So,

Had a dream last night

So cold and so lonely

(but you were there)

There was no light

(but a ray of hope)

No one with me

(you were right there)

You thought you are lonely

(3years and counting I will be forever with you)

So together? 

~That Random Guy

Dear YouIDesigner